Friday, February 27, 2009
What's in a Title??????
It seems just yesterday that an angry, rebellious teenager entered college. Calculating the time, it has been two n a half years already. When i stepped in, i was lonely and had no one with me.Till today evening, I never knew I could feel this lonely.First year i got a couple of very good friends, all the while strengthening my bond with those friends who lived so far away... And then, in a flash,Second year brought me new friends...i had a gang. A gang, who never understood what was in my mind, nonetheless made me stay in college a pleasant one. One full of memories, all those failed love affairs of the gang members who would slip into Devdas mode(not me),mentally rape each other by cracking cheap jokes (think am d one who got torchered alot!)...Second year brought some friends closer, and yet we failed to see the inevitable. Dissolved friendships, of people who once were quite close. The gang wasn't broken but shattered,still united we stand, but can felt a division there, never to rise again as a whole, but still managd to go.. And so the story goes...College life made a rebellious teenager ease down life and it's challenges. It made me look up to new challenges in life and seek the tougher ones. It made me search for d meaning of Life. I'm still searches for d meaning, all d while living each day, appreciating the beauty and the monotony of life. I saw the way priorities changed n d things that were once important to me no longer meant anything to me. I masked myself, unmasked people, went mad analyzing complex personalities...College life made me develop some sort of connections and etched new thought systems. I saw visions of what could be and more, flash in front of my eyes...I saw how friendship could be built, broken, rebuilt, weathered and finally washed away. I realized the importance of the eternal variable called truth. I realized that I loved being rash and I loved looking for danger. I learnt how painful and beautiful attachments can be. College life all the more depressed me for living in a non-utopian world. College life made me realize that I was capable of things I never dreamed of... Good and Bad. It made me realize that I am much more than what I am or what I have let myself be.I wanted to see the difference between what I was then, and what I am now. I wanted to remember and appreciate things that were once an integral part of me, to analyze life's ups and downs, to be indebted towards my best friends who always stood by me. I wanted to remember those three girls(?) in my life who moulded me more powerfully than they ever imagined they would. I wanted to rewind d flame of nostalgia and bring back those memories of my oldgood days, d very last proposal and enhanced levels of pain that I want to give up...twisted contexts, made my way around...I admit, I made my mistakes. But I learnt my lessons too...As the saying goes, the higher you are, the harder you fall...my college life up now is one of those few memories that has defined me, redefined me, and re-re-redefined me over time. Lots of memories - some nice, some bad well d end of 2008 brought me unexpected twists in life.. new hopes, new pains and new twisted mindwarps. Made me look ahead and ask myself if I had a clear vision of my future....make me rethink who I am...Not for the first time, and definitely not the last.